I also have had the chance to do lots of thinking. Since Siena has joined our family it just seems like I have been able to grow and understand a lot more things about life. One of them for example is how simple the Gospel can be.
Yes, there seems to be this idea out there that abstinence and doing good it's so hard. But in reality it makes things in life so much easier. I also realized how sometimes in my life I don't get the things I want, not because I don't deserve them, but because I don't even believe that Heavenly Father would give them to me. I then look at my life and realize that I shouldn't be like that. I shouldn't be like the people of Israel that would not look up to the snake on the stick just because they thought it would be too easy if things were just that way. But I now realize that often times they are just simple like that.
I do know that there still have to be small sacrifices in life. But usually those desires and little efforts, are like one flower and sooner than you know it you end up with a bouquet.
It may seem hard avoiding watching bad shows, or getting up every morning, but in the midst of all this, is when we get those little moments that are so special and beautiful that make up for all the other ones.
I hope that in the after life, I will be able to experience the joy that I feel after I make a little effort here in life. I hope that I will have that feeling in an endless way. And I think by then I will appreciate that nice feeling even more. Because I will remember how hard it was when I was here on earth. I will remember how much effort I had to make in order to have that beautiful sweet piece and joy inside of me. I will remember that when every fiber of my body was often telling me not to do it, and so did my brain, when I still did it, I experienced a piece of Heaven. And it was good enough as to make me want to keep doing the right. And that during those moments I realized that what seemed such a great effort, wasn't even that hard to do.
I haven't experienced endless joy yet. I have constant ups and downs. But I often experience that sweet peace when my kids fall asleep in my arms at the end of the day. When I go to sleep and I can hug my husband when I'm cold. When I put my son down to sleep and he asks me to lay with him for a few minutes and tells me that he loves me. Or when someone asks Davide what he wants and he replies "Mamma". When my daughter stops eating and reaches with her arms to touch my face. Or when she holds on to my shirt like I mean the world to her while she's feeding. Or when I give money to a lady that's selling Tamales on the street and she looks up to the Sky thanking Heavenly Father out loud. Yes, the idea of following the Gospel can at times seem overwhelming. But we just need to start it ourselves. And once we take that step, that is when Heavenly Father runs over with his arms wide open to make us happy.